I believe there is nothing we cannot achieve if we truly have faith in them.
Faith. Not goals, targets, or whatever which tend to lead towards misinterpretation to something we “have” to achieve.
Even if I want to change the world, I believe I can.

Most of the time I get the cynical expressions. A lot. The question of why(s) arise.
Then I answer, why wouldn’t I?
If not now, when?
Now is always the perfect timing.
If not me, who would?
(now, “me” here, is not “me”—only. It refers to every human being)

Then, the hardest part comes.
Its when I get the question from myself: “Who do you think you are to have such thoughts? Such dreams? Such visions?”
Then I answer, shut the f*** up, who do you think you are?

I have a faith. Why should I worry?
And why, should I not feel grateful for what I have? For life?
Everyday should feel like a bliss. Not should, but everyday is a bliss.
I don’t care if this is self-proclaimed or whatever. I know I’m feeling better. I know I’m getting better. I am certain I am getting somewhere.
I am getting to know myself, a little more better. 
That’s what matters the most. 


Dear God (and Spirit),

I pray to keep my vision ever before me.
I ask you to bless my journey.
I ask your divine helpers to protect me along the way.
I ask my inner guides to lead me forward.
I pray to the soul that is within, without, and everywhere,
That I may know myself as holy, and as whole.
To give me clarity in mind and heart.
Release me from my confusion, which is born of the past.
Let me be renewed in your ways.
Let me hear the voice of silence.
Let me see what cannot be seen.
Let me feel your faintest touch.
Take this stiffness from my heart.
This is all I want or have ever wanted.
Make a secret pact with me.
Let someone in my life feel your touch, as I feel it myself.
I ask you to take your hand in mine.
I have seen this world through your eyes.
I have loved others as you would love them.
I have entered creation and played to my heart’s content.
Breathe in me, today, tomorrow, until my body dies.


--Deepak Chopra’s--

Alice in Wonderland

Time is truly just a mind-trip. Fragment of imagination.
Do you dare to be in that trip?
We are the time. We create the clock, not the time.
Clock is calculable, manageable. Time does not.

I cannot feel the time, not because it flies, nor it cannot be bought.
It’s just something that feels so eternal I wouldn’t dare to think, nor feel.

Time doesn’t stop. Clock stops eventually.
To create anything, to change anything, just don’t think about the time.
Let the days, months, years, decades, speak for themselves.

Which world am I living exactly?
Feels like I’m living in an imagination, just like Alice in Wonderland.

I think I’m in virtual reality, surreal, unreal, so real, whatever.


Where R We?

This book successfully answered my ultimate question of” What Am I doing here exactly?”.

274 pages, and this is what I'm thinking of, and what I came up with:

We want to believe that there is some ultimate answer to end our questioning. To believe that science will come to a full stop is to crave the certainty of an ending; it is to believe that there are laws of nature that fully describe the Universe and that these laws can be found out.

Does natural selection become the ultimate law of nature?

To be concerned about mankind’s fate to the ends of time is a cover for that eternal dread: of our own mortality. We don’t worry about the early days of the Universe when we didn’t exist as humans, just as we don’t worry about our non-existence before we were born. So why are we so exercised about what might become of us in the far reaches of time, except out of a vain desire to control the fate of the Universe itself?

History comes to an end where it meets the present, the point at which the story meets the story teller. Now, are we living in the history? Or are we the story teller? We tend to find ourselves within both timeframes; undifferentiated between past, present, and the future.
It’s only a time frame; yet those are the ones that kept us “un-moved”. Doesn’t time supposed to be dynamic? If we are standing still or in our present moment, does time stop?. So, time is just an illusion?

It is predicted that the scientist who has climbed the highest peak may find “as he pulls himself over the final rock, that he’s greeted by a band of theologians who have been sitting there for centuries ( Robert Jastrow, physicist).

I am here
You are there
We are everything and everywhere
They are Us.

Science, art, religion, philosophy, must all eventually meet up.

The Universe, is indeed, portable.

(A Portable History of the Universe, Christopher Potter,2009)


Green ICT

IT is something we are all aware of, but what is ICT? Or even, green/cool ICT? It is a term in referring to product, applications, or methods which have the potential to exponentially reduce CO2 emissions. ICT refers to Information and Communication Technology. 

When we’re talking about green, we are talking about environment. The connection lies within the impact of the specific products, impact on the surroundings as a result of usage of the particular products, also the socio-economic and structural changes that its usage could result in.

The development of green concept for ICT began since (this is just my personal analysis) E-waste has become issues, and issue for the tendency of high energy usage from the product emerges (Globally, energy consumption from the application of ICT can reach 40% of total energy consumption), and also to switch high-cost-advanced technology of ICT to long-term investment of ICT products.

To implement green ICT, doesn’t necessarily always have the meaning to improve the efficiency of ICT infrastructure (using energy-efficient resources and equipment), or to improve the efficiency of ICT operations (using advanced cooling technology and power generation equipment)--only.  But, encouraging conservation with here end-users and consumers of ICT is the cheapest and easiest approach. They must be motivated to conserve energy through schemes such as rewards/penalties, or to say, campaigns. Increasing social awareness through policies and communications to explain the urgency of the issue and urge conservation, such as from trainings; with 3 key points: Green acquisition--buying greener equipment, Green use--maximising the lifespan of ICT equipment & delaying obsolescence and understanding renewable energy production methods, and Green disposal--responsible disposal of the products.

Implementing Green ICT -- getting less carbon footprint, energy use and e-waste --achieve maximum efficiency -- achieve environmental sustainability -- achieve economic benefits at the end.

It’s that what you want, true?


Sustainable mindset @work

There has been a disconnection between environmental issues and sustainability at work. How many people are even aware of how much energy, water and other resources they consumed daily? Also, how many are aware of the impact of these types of consumption on biodiversity or ecosystem services or future generations?.  If, people were aware of their personal impacts on sustainability, how many would care enough, and have the necessary action skills to substantially change their consumption patterns at work?

A future community that is able and willing to make decisions about their consumption and production patterns and life style and work style choices is very much needed. The strategy should be for the whole community at work, and should address the need for community-wide re-thinking, innovation and change if we are to have fulfilling and sustainable life styles and work styles in the future. This requires not only the development of knowledge and awareness, but also values, attitudes, skills and the involvement and empowerment of individuals and groups on a large scale.

The strategy should be for a change toward environmental sustainability in the holistic sense, with an emphasis on bringing much closer together the current range of education and behaviour change initiatives on different sustainability issues. It should establish a comprehensive framework for strategic guidance and coordination of the wide range of possible learning and behaviour change programs and processes for sustainability.

These, cannot be achieved simply by information transfer and depends on a rich range of learning experiences including engagement, problem-solving and reflection, has to be achieved with long-term, intensive involvement in learning and action. Active involvement and a sense of personal responsibility and ownership –learning and action best happen together. Critical thinking--where people learn to constructively question the direction and sustainability of their lifestyles and consumption patterns and envision their preferred futures, continual improvement–responsive to changing circumstances and always looking for better ways to take action , a shared vision and goals and a cooperative, collective effort and sense of teamwork among all those involved – are very vital.

If u claimed yourself a green-collar worker, how do u work exactly?



Do you ever feel like you just truly do not know what to say, what to feel?
It is one of those moments when I feel clueless for what I’m feeling right at this moment. I don’t know what is happening somehow.

Like now, my hands just keep typing, I am fully aware of that, but I am also fully aware that I am not fully aware of what I am typing right at this moment.

Recently I came up with this one idea: I think the purpose of life, is to understand that we are in search of answers, which by the end of the day, the answers are just to convince ourselves that nothing is certain—subject wise, object wise. We as human keep questioning this and that, and trying to find the logical reason (or answer) behind what we think is un-logic, or what we think, is a question.

Just like science. Statement from Steven Weinberg -- a theoretical physicist -- that Science doesn’t make it impossible to believe in God; it just makes it possible to not believe in God—somehow feels true. What is science? What are scientists looking for exactly from their researches? Answers? Or to raise other questions? Or just to find some logical-measurable-quantified-explanation for things that they are basically not sure of. I’m not trying to point out something here, I’m just wondering what they actually do when they do what they do. This is why; I think it is important to optimize the balance between the performance of the left and right brain. Otherwise, scientists will just work in one part of the world. Which, to see how the world works, depends on the perspective. Again.

Nothing is sure. Everything is bias. And this is not a horrific thing. Like this: Two things that really cannot be separated, but are often separated, are science and nature. This happen often  because “nature” itself it is something we are unsure of. I don’t know what nature truly means. In science, nature can be mysterious, but not permitted to be mystical (C.Potter). The phenomenon within humanity is that science can explain everything.

Is it?

So are science and nature, both, in fact, uncertain things?

In life, I think it is more important to find the direction, rather the destination. But how to find direction if we don’t know where we’re going? this is when we have to grasp the idea of “direction” itself. Going nowhere? Doesn’t matter I suppose. It’s the process of “going somewhere”. Try type “direction” in thesaurus. See what pops up.

I don’t know what I’m talking here. Nowhere and everywhere.
But I’m here. Fully aware. 


So far out to the sea

Now I understand, how it truly feels to read this sentence: “If I can be absolutely comfortable with not knowing who I am, then what's left in me is who I am – the Being behind the human, a field of pure potentiality other than something that is already defined.”— For somehow, I feel enlightened, when I (finally) (literally) realize and know, nothing that I surely know.  

Does it matter? I don’t think so. Because I don’t (literally) feel that this is a problem.

I think it’s okay.

Besides, what are we beyond our name and form? We belong to the Universe, to the earth; while they do not belong to us. We are just tiny, tiny matters compared to the Universe.

Now I (literally) understand, what this concept actually means: “We are just borrowing the earth from our children, and grandchildren, and great great grandchildren, and so on… and so they have their part too towards their children.. and the circle continues..” It is not because we want them to have the safest place to live in, that is just selfish thought (I think)-- but in fact, this place doesn’t belong to us. Though we belong to this place, but when we die, so is our form (I’m not going to talk about our souls, since I decided not to think about something that I absolutely do not know); and we will die eventually..

I am not thinking about the past
I am not thinking for the future that has not yet come
I am not thinking for short terms
I am not thinking for long terms
I am not thinking what I cannot think
I am not thinking what I do not know

I am thinking beyond, and behind my thoughts.
I am just observing.
I am thinking, to learn, not to raise another question; which I know, I won’t have the answer.

It’s like Zodiacs; to think of it as beyond psychology, beliefs, genetically matters, and history of human kind. Just to grasp the ideas.

Fascinating, really.

Now, wake up.


Dear Engineers,

Engineering education today needs to have several extents in addition to the traditional mathematics and science application skills that have been the foundation. Graduates with engineering background are expected to have not just a formal education, but it is a combination of technical knowledge gained in university courses and also management skills acquired. Through this perspective, leadership traits play a role as the channel. There again, I am talking about how important leadership is.

As environmental engineers, we have to be passionate, committed, and not just about accepting environmental challenges, but finding solutions to achieve the desired outcomes, to take a lead step and make  environmental innovation steps, or act as a pioneer in applying fundamental principles of environmental invention to engineered environmental systems. We have to face responsibilities for environmental management in ourselves, our organization, our community, our country, our living planet.

Environmental management is actually a field that encompasses a surprising array of disciplines, where wide variety of backgrounds is evident in the resumes of people engaged in environmental work. That is why, communication skill is essential. ( I myself, still find this, a bit hard).

As it said: ‘Learning about leadership and developing as a leader from critical life experiences comes from awareness of one’s own identity, personal values, beliefs and passions; leadership is a learning journey’

Unlearn to Learn

The perfection of our every “issue” is beyond our comprehension. The territory behind us and the challenges at hand were precisely crafted to deliver the wisdom and insights that will make possible the life of our dreams. 

Understand what troubles us.

We didn’t come here to face hurdle after hurdle after hurdle. One hundred years from now, it will not matter what our job was, what our degree was, or what kind of car we drove.

We are not our emotions, they are recycled energy.
I am not my emotions.

We are not our thoughts, they are recycled information.
I am not my thoughts.

Pattern of brainwaves create our thoughts, feelings and desires.

I am not living in the mind.
The mind is in me.

I am the mind.

Thoughts DO NOT become things.

So little can yield so much. A new perspective, an admission, a surrender to truth—however painful—changes everything.

Oh, wt*, go for it anyway.

. . . .

I know the day will come
When my sight of this world shall be lost
Life will take its leave in silence
Drawing the last curtain before my eyes
Yet stars will still shine at night
And mornings rise as before
And hours will still heave like sea waves
Casting up pleasures and pains
When I think of this end of my moments
The barrier of the moments breaks
And I see by the light of death
Your world with its careless treasures
Rare is its meanest of lives
Rare is its lowliest eat
Things that I longed for in vain
And things that I got—let them pass
Let me but truly possess
The things that I ever spurned and overlooked

(Rabindranath Tagore, 1913) 


The Optimism of Green Economy

One of emerging topic we are facing nowadays is green economy. Basically, it’s an economy that results in improved human well-being and reduced inequalities over the long term, while not exposing future generations to significant environmental risks and ecological scarcities(UNEP, 2010). So how come the term then comes along? The problem is, we (I think) are still in a position of hard to choose the priority between economy and environment. Prof Emil Salim has always taught us to integrate and “fill in” the economy factor within environment; and incorporate this in the current development we are facing. Economy can only grow if supported by environmental ecosystems as life support system that serves as the web of life.

To give one example, take green building for instance. Based on literature research, I found out that the building sector itself is a significant contributor to economic growth, both globally and at the national level. Globally, it is estimated to be worth US$7.5 trillion per year or approximately 10 per cent of global GDP (Betts and Farrell 2009). Where, the construction sector employs more than 111 million people (ILO 2001). At the national level, the sector generates 5-10 per cent of employment (UNEP SBCI 2007a).

Sustainable development can act as one factor reinforcing the green economy; whilst the concept of conventional development is the debilitating factor for green economy, the exact opposite. Why? Since it has three conventional patterns: Market failure, where it captures only preferences in terms of the economy through “consumer-demand” and “producer-supply” based on one side; then the Institutional failure, followed by Policy failure. I think, good governance is the key to all three. When will we have a proper transparency, accountability, participatory, efficiency, affectivity, within our government??

It is weird how we feel that we have too many regulations here, yet the majority of the issues have not yet been captured thoroughly. The law is always changing, and so are our ideas in what makes a community sustainable.


Beyond Green Building

Interdependency is very crucial to understand building, built environment, and the whole ecosystem for the process of buildings. The question is, can we prioritize issues?

Creating green building for new buildings is all about urban design decision; while the green design itself is all about integration between the people and resources within target setting and site selection, design and planning, construction and post construction, towards operation and maintenance.

The new paradigm in green building certification is that people are more attracted to the performance. The higher the rate or score is, the more it is being valuable. Moreover, the concept of cost-savings or cost-based is now switched to performance-based. Does it mean aiming more for external branding image?

My principal is, doesn’t matter what the purposes or intends are, the important thing (at least for now)is whatever makes people moving and get going to implement the green concept. From that initial stepping stone, people will start to think beyond green building.

What is beyond green building? Socio-economic? Life cycle analysis? Risk analysis? Sustainable community? Can green building concept act as one stone or foundation to foster environmental improvement in all issues?

Maybe it might seem too broad to be brought of within Indonesia. Maybe we can start to think in strategic simpler ways by focusing on the categories or issues. For instance; when we’re talking about innovations and inventions, those things are still standing within the “grey area”. People will have to start to think that innovations are not just about technology (let say technology-based renewable energy). Regardless it can capture both ways; it is not the only solution or approach. But how to measure innovation with the absence of subjectivity?

Let the building (and time) speak for themselves to the people and urban environment.


A Paradoxical Perspective

On earth it seems that most people fret, worry, and lose sleep over some of the silliest things they’ve done. But what’s funny is that later on, from here, more often than not, it’s the things they didn’t do that haunt them. I’m not laughing, either.

I think people are stressing out even more not when they do not know what they want or need; it is because they know exactly, and yet still caught up with the illusion of “being safe”.The illusion of safe is guarded by the lists of “maybe”, “sometime”, “I don’t know, and the lists go on and on.

How can you know that something hasn’t worked out, unless you quit?
They say what’s really beautiful is Confidence
They say what’s really powerful is Persistence

Perhaps the most exiting realization in the world finally understands that living the life of your dreams is entirely up to you.  It’s also about the scariest.

It is said that if we can’t choose and control what we want to think, then we are in deep trouble. For the rest of our life . So the strategy here is by putting our thoughts in boxes, differentiating between positive and negative thoughts. But what happens next is by having positive and negative thoughts obviously creating unthinkable thinking arriving extreme ideas. Is there anything in between those two?

It is like when I think I have my own personal ideal concept of something (or someone), does it lead to idealism? Which the arrows will lead to high expectation, then scepticism eventually. How can one thought of positivity leads to negativity? 


Doesn’t matter whether if you are a pure basic, strategic basic, or even applied research-based researchers; Having the ability to plan for a global research environment is the ideal aim. Plan is needed. Having a plan that needs to be adjusted over time is very much better than not having any plan at all. The strategy here is to work smarter, not harder.

I don’t necessarily agree in the concept of getting a degree for self-achievement. It is true, but it should be further than that; I totally agree with the statement from Prof Alan M J, “a PhD is a research training degree in understanding or investigating, our specific research area we should’ve learnt and further developed the research skills, training, and expertise to carry out research in a range of similar disciplines".

People always say; do what you need to do, not what you want to do. Well in this case, I think this is what I need, because this is what I know I want for sure. 


All those things I thought I knew about writing, were wrong

Writing is about freedom of speech, so it should be in a state of freedom, no matter what kind of writings. Do not focus on the outline, outline is just a roadmap. Jailed. Outline is just a tool when we lose our track of mind.

Do not worry for the reader, worry for the story. It’s all about point of view, doesn’t matter where we start. Writing is hard criticism. Works best if we focus on imagination. Start with a thought of not thinking of writing, not to focus on what other people would think, rather, focus on the state of mind, focus on the freedom of thinking, not freedom of writing. Writing comes after thinking and imagination; free the imagination, free the thoughts.

Write anything we want, not necessarily have to be a happy ending, do not think of the ending, let the writing speaks to itself.   Sometimes we may be affected by our mood, we’re receptive to our imagination, sometimes we shut it out. When we know something doesn’t work, and we chuck it, the feeling is pure liberation, nearly as good as doing something right in the first place. Actually, the feeling is better because the elimination of the wrong choice fortifies the rightness of the right one. Never wed-ourselves to a piece till it’s finished and we’re satisfied that all the parts work together. Often the section we prize the most, the one we’ve fallen head-over-heels in love with, turns out to be expendable. Toss it. We’ll be deliriously happy to discover how thrilling it feels to get rid of something that doesn’t fit our story—just like life.

In the end, eventually our writing validates our lives. No topic in writing is independent of any other, and nothing is ever done with.

Good readers make good writings. Write like we read. Everyone can read. Everyone can write. So everyone can speak up their mind. What’s your method of choice? You already know what mine is.

(Unless it moves the human heart: The Craft and Art of Writing – Roger Rosenblatt)


Optimal Experience

When we have all experienced times when, instead of being buffered by anonymous forces, we do feel in control of our actions, masters of our own fate. On the rare occasions that it happens, we feel a sense of exhilaration, a deep sense of enjoyment that is long cherished and that becomes a landmark in memory for what life should be like.

Contrary to what we usually believe, moments like these, the best moments in our lives, are not the passive, receptive, relaxing times—although such experiences can also be enjoyable, if we have worked hard to attain them. The best moments usually occur when a person’s body or mind is stretched to its limits in a voluntary effort to accomplish something difficult and worthwhile.

It is thus something that we make happen. For each person there are thousands of opportunities, challenges to expand ourselves. Such experiences are not necessarily pleasant at the time they occur.

Getting control of life is never easy, and sometimes it can be definitely painful. But in the long run, optimal experiences add up to a sense of mastery, or perhaps better; a sense of participation in determining the content of life; that comes as close to what is usually meant by happiness as anything else we can conceivably imagine.

Am I going through these experiences?
Am I gonna get the optimal experience?
I think I do, I am, I will.
I am now assured.
The question is, am I gonna be able to handle this?
That, I am certain, that I am not assured.

(Flow, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi)


When words fail

Do we need more vocabulary? Verbal, non verbal, is there in between those two?

It is arguable that we are at a loss for words, there is nothing in the language, adequate to describe how empowering it is to face what we are facing, or our uncertainty about the future may be. As indicated by Glenn Albrecht; Naming is powerful. It gives a shape, substance, and legitimacy to the things we experience.

When words fail, what should we say verbally? When actions fail, what are the precautions?

Should we then invent new words to create new actions?
Should we create new actions to invent new words?


Less thinking equal more assuming
Minus thoughts equal plus assumptions
Which one’s better?

And they say we must stop thinking
That means thinking what we think we suppose to think
Assuming things
If I do so, then what are we?
Doesn’t anything supposed to be spontaneous?
Maybe the concept of thinking is not thinking in a way a dictionary would say
Thinking is spontaneous, gives the itch, adrenaline
Keeps us alive

Don’t argue this, not trying to point anything
Not trying to prove anything to anyone

People are shaped through their minds
And they say we shouldn’t change a thing

Is it just me or are we in an era where mankind remain unfulfilled?
Always wanting more than he can have?
Is it human nature?

It is all in the state of mind
And if the mind is jailed, then what now?

And they say true knowledge exists in knowing that we know nothing
See, the point is when we know nothing we are forced to think what is that we don’t know?

Tell me, do you think this is anomaly?
In theories, everything should be better in a state of normal
Then again, define normal??

Am I getting the wrong assumption here?
Am I getting the wrong perception here?

Everything is best to keep it simplified
Wait, is it in theories?
Wait, don’t they say to stop thinking based on theories?

It’s been this way forever
But nothing can’t last forever

It’s just all over the place. I’m doomed.
I’m sick of getting my hopes up for nothing


Have we forgotten what we have been fighting for?

When you heard about the term “green” or “sustainable” or “environment”, or “environmentally friendly”, what pops up in your mind?. Some people say climate change, some reducing pollution, some will say energy efficiency, some will say just other shitty crappy words, none of their business.  

Mine is nature. Balance between nature and humanity. Balance between the living and the non living. Balance between positive and negative energy. It might sound weird, but it’s perfectly make sense for me.

The term itself has a gigantic scope. It involves all aspects from technical issues, social issues, human, animal, economy, political, religion, any kind. Aspects which have always been debated for years. It all comes in one circle. Have you heard about green economy? Sustainable community? Green politics? Maybe it’s just another term, a movement, a trend, but look beyond that. Why do certain people keep connecting it with those words? I think it’s because like it or not, we are dealing with the nation where everything has become ironic, connected, crashed. And yes, environmental has become an emerging issue.

How so? Well, it is time.

For instance, restoring forests and planting trees on farms can greatly improve food security, and then improve nation economic stability, political steadiness, reaching a sustainable community, so everyone’s happy. What I found is that the trend now is business sectors are in call for actions to support MDGs. MDGs is not made as a formality actions; it is a declaration for every nation. Note that. Take that seriously. People oftenly mistaken; messed with the statistical matters, on how many percent is our country has been able to achieve a certain target of MDGs?

What are the movements saying to us anyway? Some people are just still looking for the money, power, fame, targeted market; which those valued only because they expect that it will make them profitable, a better community. But do they? Using the terms for other expectations. Another reason. Caught up with the targets, the goals, but what actually we have done in reality? Have we done enough? Nothing much I suppose. There have been too many distractions.

When are we going to get over the idea that those terms are just a trend? When are we going to get over the idea that those terms are just said by scientists? When are we going to get over the idea that those movements are just being spoken by crazy environmental activists? It is how we respond to those issues that determine whether we will profit from the movements or be caught up by a nonsense debate. Such a Waste of time.

There’s no difficulty we cannot overcome if we work together, have a specific line between what we want, what we need, what is obligated, what has to be achieved, and what has to be targeted. Think global. Do not act because you think it is necessary. Do not act because you think if you do not do that damaging things will happen. Rather, act because you believe that greater things will come if you do so. Act because you think it is the best and right thing to do. Think and see differently, from a total different point of view, outside the result, beyond the reason.

It may seems hard, impossible, but why not? Words are just words if there are no actions. Nature and humanity cannot be separated.