Talking to myself

I over analyzed things, every single things
Speed and caught with my own thoughts
Whizz through my history

I crammed with good musics
Amazing concerts
Crazy local bars
Absurd books
Inspiring people
Ice creams
Horror movies
Friends series

I hate to fly, but I’m deeply in love with airports
I get sea-sick easily, but I’m freakin’ly in love with beach and the sea
I hate heights, but I wish I can stay at the top of the cloud
As I was a child, I don’t want to be like my Mom,but I'm exactly like her
I have a personal confidence issue, yet I want to be a teacher
My communication sucks, but I kept saying that communication is the key to everything
I get bored easily, but my favourite place is library and a class listening to a teacher
At times I have insomnia, but I sleep easily. too easy
Sometimes I’m a million colours, sometimes I’m black and white
I’m not girly-type of woman. I don’t have make up. But my third fav colour is pink
I don’t like to be noticed, but I want to be different
I’m careless, reckless, but I’d do anything to my loved ones. Anything

Anything can boost me up randomly, even just by looking at a cover of a book
Even the unthinkable one
I want to be a scientist; I don’t know if I am one or is it just me being fake?
I filled with self-belief, haunted by self-doubt
I know exactly what I want to be, I don’t know what I want to do the next hour
I don’t care about people, but I would never wound someone’s feelings, no matter how downright aggressive they might be
I tend to over react, but mostly I am as quite as it can be
I like to be by myself, I hate to be alone
I don’t want to talk about marriage, yet I can’t stop picturing myself playing cats with my kids
Drinking beers with my husband at the couch watching friends until the dvd player blows up
Hate to cook, can’t cook, but have an idea of making the best dish ever to my family

I just want to take daring leaps, inspiring another people

My ultimate dreams are:
To be the a researcher of the unthinkable one, to make a difference, something I can give to the environment
To travel around the world
To see all big music festivals around the world, just to feel the euphoria, I don’t care about the type of music they’re playing
To have a petshop
To be a perfect Mom to my kids (if there is a term “perfect Mom”, well at least close to-)
To be a best friend, a wife, girlfriend to my husband
Make my parents proud, just by successfully being myself

This is hard, no?
Wait, this is not a dream, this is what I want to do
Wait, is it?
See, here I go again making no sense

U think this is my insecurity?
U think this is pitiful?
I think it’s called human
This is just me being myself

I've got all the answers
I've got nothing figured out
When I thought I know about everything
I don’t know shit about a thing

Sometimes I'm not sure who I am
But who is?

Enlight me

--Please don't like me less

1 comment:

  1. :') Terharu bacanya.

    I especially like this sentence: "I don’t like to be noticed, but I want to be different."