Beyond Beautiful

We are living in the era of modernization, an era of freedom speech, overwhelmed by social media buzz, everyday campaign of gender-balance, a full public support for female empowerment and diversity, and war against gender stereotypes. The world has changed drastically, yet women today are still no less self-conscious about the way they look than they’ve always been. Why? Because we are confronted and exposed with the media of beauty blast – commercial TVs, social medias, you name it. We live in a looks-obsessed society. The more and longer skincare routines we put into effort, the more time we spend on the mirror every morning for makeup routine the better we’ll be.

Our insecurities aren’t a natural consequence of our appearance, and not integral part of who we are. All those inner voices judging the “beauty standard” are not really our inner voice. It’s the product of years of socialization from a very brutal culture.

Many of us still feel that how we fell about they way we look has become the deciding factor for how we feel about ourselves. For those days of – bad-hair-day – and days when we don’t feel that we look good, we automatically feel defeated, totally neglecting our other accomplishments. 

Your body does not define you.

Your makeup does not define you.

Your skin color does not define you.

Your clothes do not define you.

“Self esteem isn’t everything, it’s just that there’s nothing without it.”

“I’m intelligent, I’m feminist, and I know that society’s beauty ideal is B.S. So why do I still care so much about what I look like?.”

Beyond Beautiful – Rees, Anuschka

The Paradox of Faith

I believe there is nothing we can’t attain if we truly have faith in them, though I sometimes feel that “believe” is such a clear-cut word. At least, I know deep down inside I do feel and know that I truly believe in faith.

F.a.i.t.h

Some people might refer it as religion, as believes, as idealism, principle, or even fanaticism; or anything else which somehow perceived as “strong word”, like “power”. When I think of faith, somehow it is automatically connected to goals, targets; yet ironically those words felt “individual”. Half of my thoughts wander in how different they are, yet so similar. Most of the time I do feel that goals or target will most likely lead to misinterpretation to something we “have” to achieve. Whilst, oddly, this obligation on the word “have” is closely related to faith. Even if I want to change the world, I believe I can. I do.

Goals and targets are the preconditions of faith. Are they?

They’re part of my faith, my believes, my power, my self-control, my supremacy, my religion.

For long time, I’ve had my goals, at least I think I know I do have them; doesn’t matter how small, how big, how odd, how unrealistic it might come, how general and how boring it seems, or being interpreted as jokes. 
I have my faith. They’re the ones who kept me alive and alert. The question then, why there are still questions rounding in my head? Why should I feel worry? Anxious? Doubtful? Are these just fragmentation of thoughts? Imagination? Are they? 

They’re now seemed falling apart. Sinking back to the point of having faith beneath faith.

The Loss of a Nation

I remember when I was in elementary school, how we used to study and remembering all of our heroin, histories, Pancasila and Bhineka Tunggal Ika  as our National concept. It is sad now I even can’t remember most of it. I think this is because it somehow just vanishes within our era. Era of technology, a revolution of media, political chaotic.

I was very amazed when I read the history of gender colonialism in Dutch history. Kartini is one good example on how we should fight for our beliefs. Her writing clearly demonstrates liberated visions on gender equality, and women specifically, to have a better access towards education. Such vision was shown in one of her letter “We are not giving battle to men, but to old moss-grown addicts and conventions that are not worthy…”

Talking about education, former vice president Moh Hatta once stated that our challenge after 25years of independence is: How to adjust the education for children, youth, and the people, to meet the country's development needs?. Even when I saw demonstrations, it just felt wrong somehow. People began to question, what are they looking for exactly? Justice? Truth? Freedom of speech? The collateral damages are not worth the efforts. This is just my personal point of view.

We are losing our National identity. Students are talking about social networks; people are talking about money, politics, and position. Girls and young women are arguing about what is the next fashion trend going to be like. Men are worrying about their personal egoistic achievement. Yes, it is true the world is evolving. But we do still need our principles, right?  Otherwise we’ll get lost within our loss.

Maybe we forgot, or even we do not know, that We, ARE the future leaders.

It is our call, to re-shape, and find our lost nation.

Every one of Us is contributing. No exception.

As spelled out by Prof Emil Salim: “What is black is black; white is white; say it as it is..”

L.I.F.E

I can (or might) find answers to questions in terms of life in general (perhaps..). But once, someone asks: “what is your life’s true purpose?” or, “what is your heart’s deepest desire?”.. these, are hard. It’s not that I do not know, it is because I think I know the answer, I just don’t know if it is the right answer or not. As far as I know, these kinds of Qs do not just pop up like that, and we can’t just have some s*itty answer. I know what I want to be, what I want to do, but are they actually my life’s purpose? Or just my egoistic desire to fulfil my place in life itself?

The sad things is, sad sad thing, we are in fact in an era where people are suffering from feelings of disconnection from life’s deeper meaning. Me, you, we, are the people. I just hate the way people are judging life based on what they’ve become, based on what they’ve been through, based on what they achieved, based on something measurable. Maybe the un-measurable things are actually what life is. Maybe, to know what life is, we just have to throw away the “measureable” factors. Like they said, “we can’t control something we can’t measure”. So life become sucks when we just try to control it. I guess. So F*** it.

What can we expect from life? What do we want from life? What can we control from life? These are just wrong wrong questions. Maybe it is the other way around, what can we actually give to life?

Don’t be selfish.
Life is just life.
L.I.F.E

Musicians vs Scientists

Is there anything in common? In a total different perspective, offcourse. They both have laboratories//recording studios,supervisors//record labels,research projects//EPprojects, formulas--equations//chords, tools—microscopes//guitars. They both are insanely creative and out of the box thinking-mind set. They do not think their occupation as a job, rather something they cannot live without. I don’t think they consider it as an occupation; it is who they are.

There are many musicians who are also scientists, vice versa—but I’m not referring to them here. I’m talking for those who have full time profession as musicians or scientists—if, profession is what they call it. For me, I think, to have both skills—like really true skills—are just genetically impossible, or just probably the most genius person alive (how to use right-and left brain optimally at one time?).

The phenomenon here, is musicians and scientists are in a totally different world, well this is true, but not so much. They both create massive contradictions, ridiculously genius talent (or thoughts)—and seeing from the object; which is science and music; as one say, science is objective, experimental, quantitative; sense experience—indeed all mental experience—is subjective, experiential and qualitative; where music, I think is also experimental, and quantified!. And, if they want to be extremely good at what they’re doing, and to get the acknowledgement from the community, they have to be in a serious-total-dedication. Like, able to bring an alteration to someone’s life.  

But seriously, if u’re stranded in an island, who would you rather be with? Kurt Cobain or Stephen Hawking?  :D

Music and science, both, are revolutions. Long live musicians and scientists!

Faith

I believe there is nothing we cannot achieve if we truly have faith in them.

Faith. Not goals, targets, or whatever which tend to lead towards misinterpretation to something we “have” to achieve.

Even if I want to change the world, I believe I can.

Most of the time I get the cynical expressions. A lot. The question of why(s) arise.

Then I answer, why wouldn’t I?

If not now, when?

Now is always the perfect timing.

If not me, who would?

(now, “me” here, is not “me”—only. It refers to every human being)

Then, the hardest part comes.

Its when I get the question from myself: “Who do you think you are to have such thoughts? Such dreams? Such visions?”

Then I answer, shut the f*** up, who do you think you are?

I have a faith. Why should I worry?

And why, should I not feel grateful for what I have? For life?

Everyday should feel like a bliss. Not should, but everyday is a bliss.

I don’t care if this is self-proclaimed or whatever. I know I’m feeling better. I know I’m getting better. I am certain I am getting somewhere.

I am getting to know myself, a little more better. 

That’s what matters the most. 

Dear God (and Spirit),

I pray to keep my vision ever before me.

I ask you to bless my journey.

I ask your divine helpers to protect me along the way.

I ask my inner guides to lead me forward.

I pray to the soul that is within, without, and everywhere,

That I may know myself as holy, and as whole.

To give me clarity in mind and heart.

Release me from my confusion, which is born of the past.

Let me be renewed in your ways.

Let me hear the voice of silence.

Let me see what cannot be seen.

Let me feel your faintest touch.

Take this stiffness from my heart.

This is all I want or have ever wanted.

Make a secret pact with me.

Let someone in my life feel your touch, as I feel it myself.

I ask you to take your hand in mine.

I have seen this world through your eyes.

I have loved others as you would love them.

I have entered creation and played to my heart’s content.

Breathe in me, today, tomorrow, until my body dies.

Amen.

--Deepak Chopra’s--

Alice in Wonderland

Time is truly just a mind-trip. Fragment of imagination.

Do you dare to be in that trip?

We are the time. We create the clock, not the time.

Clock is calculable, manageable. Time does not.

I cannot feel the time, not because it flies, nor it cannot be bought.

It’s just something that feels so eternal I wouldn’t dare to think, nor feel.

Time doesn’t stop. Clock stops eventually.

To create anything, to change anything, just don’t think about the time.

Let the days, months, years, decades, speak for themselves.

Which world am I living exactly?

Feels like I’m living in an imagination, just like Alice in Wonderland.

I think I’m in virtual reality, surreal, unreal, so real, whatever.

Where R We?

This book successfully answered my ultimate question of” What Am I doing here exactly?”.

274 pages, and this is what I'm thinking of, and what I came up with:

We want to believe that there is some ultimate answer to end our questioning. To believe that science will come to a full stop is to crave the certainty of an ending; it is to believe that there are laws of nature that fully describe the Universe and that these laws can be found out.

Does natural selection become the ultimate law of nature?

To be concerned about mankind’s fate to the ends of time is a cover for that eternal dread: of our own mortality. We don’t worry about the early days of the Universe when we didn’t exist as humans, just as we don’t worry about our non-existence before we were born. So why are we so exercised about what might become of us in the far reaches of time, except out of a vain desire to control the fate of the Universe itself?

History comes to an end where it meets the present, the point at which the story meets the story teller. Now, are we living in the history? Or are we the story teller? We tend to find ourselves within both timeframes; undifferentiated between past, present, and the future.

It’s only a time frame; yet those are the ones that kept us “un-moved”. Doesn’t time supposed to be dynamic? If we are standing still or in our present moment, does time stop?. So, time is just an illusion?

It is predicted that the scientist who has climbed the highest peak may find “as he pulls himself over the final rock, that he’s greeted by a band of theologians who have been sitting there for centuries ( Robert Jastrow, physicist).

I am here

You are there

We are everything and everywhere

They are Us.

Science, art, religion, philosophy, must all eventually meet up.

The Universe, is indeed, portable.

(A Portable History of the Universe, Christopher Potter,2009)

Sustainable mindset @work

There has been a disconnection between environmental issues and sustainability at work. How many people are even aware of how much energy, water and other resources they consumed daily? Also, how many are aware of the impact of these types of consumption on biodiversity or ecosystem services or future generations?.  If, people were aware of their personal impacts on sustainability, how many would care enough, and have the necessary action skills to substantially change their consumption patterns at work?

A future community that is able and willing to make decisions about their consumption and production patterns and life style and work style choices is very much needed. The strategy should be for the whole community at work, and should address the need for community-wide re-thinking, innovation and change if we are to have fulfilling and sustainable life styles and work styles in the future. This requires not only the development of knowledge and awareness, but also values, attitudes, skills and the involvement and empowerment of individuals and groups on a large scale.

The strategy should be for a change toward environmental sustainability in the holistic sense, with an emphasis on bringing much closer together the current range of education and behaviour change initiatives on different sustainability issues. It should establish a comprehensive framework for strategic guidance and coordination of the wide range of possible learning and behaviour change programs and processes for sustainability.

These, cannot be achieved simply by information transfer and depends on a rich range of learning experiences including engagement, problem-solving and reflection, has to be achieved with long-term, intensive involvement in learning and action. Active involvement and a sense of personal responsibility and ownership –learning and action best happen together. Critical thinking--where people learn to constructively question the direction and sustainability of their lifestyles and consumption patterns and envision their preferred futures, continual improvement–responsive to changing circumstances and always looking for better ways to take action , a shared vision and goals and a cooperative, collective effort and sense of teamwork among all those involved – are very vital.

If u claimed yourself a green-collar worker, how do u work exactly?

So far out to the sea

Now I understand, how it truly feels to read this sentence: “If I can be absolutely comfortable with not knowing who I am, then what's left in me is who I am – the Being behind the human, a field of pure potentiality other than something that is already defined.”— For somehow, I feel enlightened, when I (finally) (literally) realize and know, nothing that I surely know.  

Zero.  

None.

Zilch.

Does it matter? I don’t think so. Because I don’t (literally) feel that this is a problem.

I think it’s okay.

Besides, what are we beyond our name and form? We belong to the Universe, to the earth; while they do not belong to us. We are just tiny, tiny matters compared to the Universe.

Now I (literally) understand, what this concept actually means: “We are just borrowing the earth from our children, and grandchildren, and great great grandchildren, and so on… and so they have their part too towards their children.. and the circle continues..” It is not because we want them to have the safest place to live in, that is just selfish thought (I think)-- but in fact, this place doesn’t belong to us. Though we belong to this place, but when we die, so is our form (I’m not going to talk about our souls, since I decided not to think about something that I absolutely do not know); and we will die eventually..

I am not thinking about the past

I am not thinking for the future that has not yet come

I am not thinking for short terms

I am not thinking for long terms

I am not thinking what I cannot think

I am not thinking what I do not know

I am thinking beyond, and behind my thoughts.

I am just observing.

I am thinking, to learn, not to raise another question; which I know, I won’t have the answer.

It’s like Zodiacs; to think of it as beyond psychology, beliefs, genetically matters, and history of human kind. Just to grasp the ideas.

Fascinating, really.

Now, wake up.

Dear Engineers,

Engineering education today needs to have several extents in addition to the traditional mathematics and science application skills that have been the foundation. Graduates with engineering background are expected to have not just a formal education, but it is a combination of technical knowledge gained in university courses and also management skills acquired. Through this perspective, leadership traits play a role as the channel. There again, I am talking about how important leadership is.

As environmental engineers, we have to be passionate, committed, and not just about accepting environmental challenges, but finding solutions to achieve the desired outcomes, to take a lead step and make  environmental innovation steps, or act as a pioneer in applying fundamental principles of environmental invention to engineered environmental systems. We have to face responsibilities for environmental management in ourselves, our organization, our community, our country, our living planet.

Environmental management is actually a field that encompasses a surprising array of disciplines, where wide variety of backgrounds is evident in the resumes of people engaged in environmental work. That is why, communication skill is essential. ( I myself, still find this, a bit hard).

As it said: ‘Learning about leadership and developing as a leader from critical life experiences comes from awareness of one’s own identity, personal values, beliefs and passions; leadership is a learning journey’

Unlearn to Learn

The perfection of our every “issue” is beyond our comprehension. The territory behind us and the challenges at hand were precisely crafted to deliver the wisdom and insights that will make possible the life of our dreams. 

Understand what troubles us.

We didn’t come here to face hurdle after hurdle after hurdle. One hundred years from now, it will not matter what our job was, what our degree was, or what kind of car we drove.

We are not our emotions, they are recycled energy.

I am not my emotions.

We are not our thoughts, they are recycled information.

I am not my thoughts.

Pattern of brainwaves create our thoughts, feelings and desires.

I am not living in the mind.

The mind is in me.

I am the mind.

Thoughts DO NOT become things.

So little can yield so much. A new perspective, an admission, a surrender to truth—however painful—changes everything.

Oh, wt*, go for it anyway.